4 trends in building successful communities of care

By Joe LaGuardia

In a recent joint effort by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and RTI International, researchers Erin Long, Sari Shuman, et. al. explored five inter-faith communities that provide care for loved ones suffering with dementia and their caregivers.

Their research, entitled “Faith-Related Programs in Dementia Care, Support, and Education,” summarizes best practices in religious support for families and caregivers and tips on how to build strong, sustainable communities of care.

Upon closer inspection, it becomes clear that the research highlights four trends that make for successful communities of care.

1.  Faith adds to well-being.  Faith-based communities provide benefits for dementia care and caregivers.  As our research here at A Tapestry of Love affirms, faith-based communities provide countless benefits to caregivers and their loved ones.  As Long and Shuman, et. al., note, “Studies have shown that spirituality and religious activity may provide relief from anxiety, reduced behavioral disturbances, and improved quality of life for people with dementia” (Long and Shuman, 3).

Yet, they also affirm that religious activity wanes over time because of the declining health of loved ones.  We too, found that to be a problem: The longer a caregiver and her loved one stay home, the fewer cards, visits, and invitations to activities take place over time.

Faith-based communities of care, however, can close the gap for caregivers and their families who need solace, support, and ongoing professionalized care.  Communities can provide, for instance, intentional programs that increase health and wellness, support groups, educational workshops, and spiritual practices that promote faith and discipleship.

Caregivers provide hours of care to loved ones; houses of worship must be intentional to either meet their needs or work with others to help provide support and resources along the journey of faith.

2.   Collaboration promotes sustainable support.  Faith-based communities that collaborate are sustainable and successful in prolonging and providing support.  Those providing support for caregivers and their families–and churches that seek to do the same–cannot go it alone.  Of all five communities in Long and Shuman’s research, each one collaborated with other churches, non-profits, and government agencies for volunteer training, grant and fundraising awareness, space usage, resource allocation, and diversified support.

When it comes to caring for families, churches need to reach out to one another and even other faith groups for support.  In some instances, one church provided space for a program, while other churches in the area provided volunteers.  Local associations, such as the Alzheimer’s Association, provided educational resources to train volunteers, and caregivers.

Collaboration also promotes a wider participation from the community, including promotion of events and workshops, as well as little things that make a difference, such as providing transportation for loved ones and their families to get to support groups and the community.  In one instance, a local taxi service provided subsidized transportation to and from the community center.

As resources are few and quality volunteers limited, it is in the best interest that faith-based communities seek collaborative models for caring for all God’s children in their local area.

3.  Space assures sacred and safe interactions.  Another successful aspect of dementia and caregiver care was the devotion to a specific space for support and programming.  Some of the institutions that were a part of the study had stand-alone spaces, while others found sites that provided space.

Whether it is stand-alone or a partnership, having a safe and devoted space for care and support assures safety and sacred interactions.  This is especially important with people with dementia: Routine and predictability promote well-being, and having a space that is familiar allows for people to feel comfortable and welcomed.

Having a devoted space also allows for ongoing education and volunteer training.  Volunteers work within the confines of a manageable area, know all of the resources that are at hand, and value having a meeting place where they can interact with people who need room to grow, be, and live out their calling as caregivers or care receivers.

Stand-alone facilities, though difficult to come by, are optimal for this type of ministry.  The researchers noted that one community, the Amazing Place in Houston, Texas, boasts a 13,700-square foot building that includes a chapel, art studio, game room, kitchen, conference and training rooms, sitting areas, and a courtyard.  This was made possible by a dream from St. Luke’s United Methodist Church in Houston and the church’s willingness to work with non-profits and other faith groups in the area to secure the space, funding, and the 250 volunteers needed to run the full-time effort.

4.  Faith, Collaboration, and Sacred Space enhance creative engagement.  Creative engagement with loved ones emerge when we put faith to work, collaborate with others, and devote a sacred space to care and support others.  Although many communities provide basic services–fellowship meals, chapel services, and support groups–these trends lend themselves to other creative ventures:

  • A writer’s workshop can help dementia patients find creative avenues to tell their story and leave a written legacy for loved ones.
  • A movie or film night with caregivers can promote new ways of seeing their role as caregivers and can encourage intentional conversations about the promises or perils of the caregiving life.
  • Caregiver workshops can provide much-needed resources for self-care, grief support, or caregiver empowerment.
  • Webinars can expand the promotional base of a ministry, as well as provide ongoing education to the community at large.

As communities continue to experience ministry to those suffering from dementia and the caregivers who help serve that most vulnerable population, it will be increasingly important for faith-based support services to reach out in ever creative ways.  Research shows that support services make a difference.  Faith, collaboration, sacred space, and creative engagement only bolster the type of resources that make for a great, well-rounded community of care.

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8 Tips on how to move or relocate a loved one, and celebrate the process

By Joe LaGuardia

Here at A Tapestry of Love, we have seen many families who care for a loved one who has to move to a new facility because of declining health or loss of independence.

Yet, the timing of the caregiver and the care receiver may be off–conflict arises when a decision as to when to move has to be made.  Sometimes, a care receiver just doesn’t want to move at all: he or she does not want to leave a home, memories  and neighborhoods behind.

What can help the transition process in a move or relocation?

There is no “right” answer for families going through this type of transition, but here are some things to think about when making any transition:

  • While you are consulting doctors, family, and friends about a possible move for your loved one, don’t forget to blanket everything with prayer.  Prayer fashions us into people who are receptive to God’s will, understanding and compassionate regarding the needs of others (and us included), and builds in us a Spirit-inspired patience that only God can give (a “peace that surpasses all understanding”).
  • Do not transition to a new home or relocate without (mostly) everyone being on board, even if it means compromise: Sometimes the compromise comes in the timing of the move.  One caregiver wants to move Mom now, while the other caregiver doesn’t think Mom is ready.  Make a timetable with which everyone is comfortable.  Seek advice from friends and doctors.  If Mom doesn’t want to move at all, then set up goals to move in that direction as appropriately as possible (do a “pros/cons” list with Mom, etc.).
  • Help the care receiver celebrate the memories or “sacred” spaces in the home by being intentional in the move: Don’t just pack everything and move; instead, go through things category by category (like, books or albums one day; furniture the next, etc.).  With each “category,” celebrate what those items mean to the whole family.  If the circumstances allow it, do not rush the move and let your loved one be a part of the moving process.
  • Share a meal or throw a party for friends and family to gather around the loved one and vocalize memories together.  Share what will be missed, but also provide opportunities for the new “blessings” that might be a part of your family’s new future as a result of the transition.  Cry together if it brings healing and closure.
  • Surround your loved one with a support system who can help you all make the transition.  Don’t try to move Mom or Dad alone, bring friends into the conversation.
  • Help your loved one recognize that although they are grieving having to leave behind all of the “gifts” they have been afforded in their home (like memories, raising children, etc), that this transition means they will now become a gift for others: like spending more time with grandchildren or great-grandchildren, or focusing on the future of the family by passing down memories and stories rather than holding on to the past.
  • Recognize that any transition requires some grief work.  Make room for your loved one to express the range of emotions that accompany grief, such as bargaining, anger, and sadness.  If your loved one continues to express these emotions up to three months after the move, then partner your loved one with a grief counselor or a therapist who can help in the healing process.  You just moved your loved one–budget a little cash on the side to pay for that intervention if necessary!
  • Celebrate the new beginning of making new memories and gaining new friends.  Although change is hard for everyone, there is something to be said about coming into new places.  This can be invigorating and rewarding.  God is with us everywhere, and we should not overlook either the power of sacred space (“home”) in maintaining that relationship, as well as the new adventures to which God calls us–even when unfamiliar.

As you and your family transition your loved one to a new home or setting, keep in mind that prayer should be the basis for everything.  There is no “right” way of doing things, and let us know how you have struggled or helped make for a smooth transition in your care receiver’s life.

Thou Shall Not Worry

prayerBy Joe LaGuardia

“Do not worry,” Jesus told his disciples in no uncertain terms (Matthew 6:25).  It’s one of the clearest admonishments in scripture, and it stands up there with the ten commandments as being, well, God’s Word for us today.

There are many times, however, that I have read that scripture and said, “It is easier said than done.”  I wonder why Jesus told us not to worry when the only thing any of us is really good at is worrying.

Upon reflection, I suppose that there are different types of worrying.

The first is to worry when you are anxious about something in the future.  Since the future has yet to happen and you are not sure whether your fears are founded or not, this worry can be a distraction and can keep you from seeing the blessings in life.

The best medicine for this type of worry is gratitude.  We need to be thankful for what we have, enjoy the moment, praise God for waking us up this morning, and give God any anxiety we may have about what the future may hold.

Jesus said it himself, “Do not worry for tomorrow will bring worries of its own” (Matthew 6:34); and Paul’s letter to the Philippians states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything be thankful and make your petitions known to God” (4:6).

The second type of worry is chronic worry tied to anxiety disorders or depression.  This type of worry requires intervention and resources that help people move beyond the disorder or cope with it.

Sometimes, a person can go to a therapist for a few sessions and get things straightened out.  Other times, people need therapy or medication over the long haul.

I once knew a person who struggled with an anxiety order, and she concluded that if she only had more faith in God, then the anxiety would go away.

The only problem was (as I saw it) that she already was a person of great faith.

I was able to demonstrate to her how her faith inspired my own life and encouraged so many people around her.   We agreed together that the only way for her to move into a place of acceptance and coping was to get help.

God provides us with some good counselors for a reason, and its helpful to know that all of us deal with chronic anxiety every now and then.

There is a third type of worry with which I am familiar, and that’s the worry I think all of us feel no matter how close we are to the Lord.  This is the worry that accompanies responsibility.

Unlike the first type of worry, this anxiety does not stem from uncertainty or fear of the future.  Nor is it chronic anxiety that paralyzes life.  Instead, this type of worry is that on-going anxiety you feel when you are responsible for someone or something.

If you are a parent, you know what I mean!

There are certain worries that I have only experienced as a father, and these worries do not go away.  I worry for my children’s health, safety, their little God-given spirits, and very lives.

But I also find that this worry is not all bad.  In fact, something would be wrong with a parent who did not worry about his or her child.

It’s a healthy worry because it grows out of concern, compassion, grace, and empathy.  Who wants a parent who does not worry, or an employee who does not worry about meeting a budget or a deadline?

I think that, at the end of the day, we really use the word “worry” for many different things.  Since the second type of worry I mentioned is biological and can’t be avoided, and the third type is required for relationships in which people matter, Jesus may have said, “Do not worry,” to those of us who only struggle with the first type of worry–that of the future.

But no matter the type, not worrying is certainly easier said than done.