Exhaustion and Truth

by Daphne Reiley

I have been going seemingly nonstop for the last few days.  Last night, my older son made a simple comment that he wished he could travel and explore like his friends.  For a number of reasons, all of his friends’ posts lately have really bothered me and I’ve pretty much refused to even acknowledge or look at the pretty photos posted on FB.  I couldn’t bear to — why?  Jealousy.

Yup.  That Green Machine.  Our family is quite privileged.  We have access to excellent health care, very supportive friends, and much more.  Yet, all of our resources right now are accounted for in one way or another with nothing really left over for “travel and exploration.”  Jealousy.

We’ve just moved through the season of thanksgiving and now we’re headed into a season of personal and communal preparation for the coming of Jesus.  What does that mean for my jealousy?  My envy?

I was ashamed last night as I apologized to my son and went to bed.  I lay in bed and asked God to forgive me, to heal my feelings that are so disparate from my privilege.  I asked that God give me a truly contrite and thankful heart.

Upon waking this morning, I realized that I haven’t made my thoughts and feelings clear to our family about how I would like our funds to be prioritized; that perhaps our one vacation a year could be spent doing something else, something different this coming summer.  I realized, once again, that I haven’t communicated with my family.

Why?  Because I’m exhausted.  Exhaustion is dangerous to a caregiver on many fronts.  Exhaustion causes a skewing of perception and understanding.  Exhaustion puts a damper on communication and increases feelings of injustice (jealousy, envy, anger..).  Exhaustion causes reaction times to speed up (in cases of perceived injustice) or slow down (in cases of real need).

Exhaustion is dangerous.

What can I (or any caregiver do) at this point?  I started by going to bed last night.  Then I prayed for God to help me.  This I woke up this morning, counting on God to be present with me today as I move through a hectic time at work and return to my family tonight.

Exhaustion is dangerous.

Rest.  Pray.  Be aware.  God is there.

Thank God.  Gratitude, when used liberally, heals.

 

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2 thoughts on “Exhaustion and Truth

  1. Once again, a beautiful essay and full of truth. Your Lord (I’m sure) is proud of you for doing His work in the world! And the way you do it: humbly, courageously, with a giving heart. Have a peaceful day, today, my friend, I pray!

    Jinnie Lee Schmid 678-778-0994 Sent from my iPhone; Please excuse typos!

  2. Thank you, Jinnie, for your response. God is good. All the time. Sometimes, I just need a reminder to be still and know that.
    Peace and grace flow,
    Daphne

    Daphne C. Reiley
    Legal Secretary and Client Services Coordinator
    The Elder & Disability Law Firm of Victoria L. Collier, PC
    315 W. Ponce de Leon Avenue, Suite 600
    Decatur, Georgia 30030
    http://www.elderlawgeorgia.com
    (404) 370-0696
    (404) 370-0697 (fax)
    Co-Author: A Tapestry of Love, The Spirituality of Caregiving
    Visit http://atapestryoflove.com for information, inspiration, and resources

    From: jinnie@changenavigatorsllc.com [mailto:jinnie@changenavigatorsllc.com]
    Sent: Wednesday, December 2, 2015 8:11 AM
    To: A Tapestry of Love ; Daphne Reiley
    Subject: Re: [New post] Exhaustion and Truth

    Once again, a beautiful essay and full of truth. Your Lord (I’m sure) is proud of you for doing His work in the world! And the way you do it: humbly, courageously, with a giving heart. Have a peaceful day, today, my friend, I pray!
    Jinnie Lee Schmid
    678-778-0994
    Sent from my iPhone;
    Please excuse typos!

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